Lessons from Love

Here are a few things I learned from falling in love;

  1. It gives you writer’s block.  I’ve sold one story in the last year.
  2. It robs you of your passion for anything outside of the “relationship”.
  3. It changes you.  I don’t even know who I am anymore.
  4. It rips your heart out.  Got mine back though.
  5. If you’re planning on doing it, take it super slow and watch out for red flags.
  6. If red flags appear, question them.  But best to run.
  7. I will never trust someone with my heart so easily again.
  8. Loving him felt so wonderful even if he didn’t love me, that feeling is amazing.
  9. Finally, build up a wall and put a gun to Mr. Gorbachev’s head so that bastard can’t tear them down.

That is all for now.

 

 

Advertisements

Dating the Younger Man

So I’m over the guy that broke my heart.  I finally came to terms that he is basically useless in my life.  So I’ve moved on.. with younger men guys.  I feel like younger guys shouldn’t be called men and I mean ages 25 – 35.  They are pretty much just horndogs and well, that’s about it.  I’m not really down for a hookup and I make that clear on my #tinder profile.

tinder

There’s no way they read my profile OR they don’t give a shit about what I say, they swear they’re going to woo me into bed by wining and dining me.  I’m actually not impressed with the bottle of wine you bought me or the dinner you bought me – I brought my credit card, I can buy my own.  I want to say it’s sweet of them to attempt at wooing me however they’re doing it for the wrong reasons.  I don’t want to sleep with you!

Last night was a real winner.  We matched on tinder a few weeks back and I’ve been busy, then he got sick.  Our schedules don’t really match so we only just met last night.  He has been texting me the last few weeks and paying me compliments.  I asked him what he was looking for and he said, “a girlfriend”.  So I thought maybe we could spend some time and get to know each other and see where it goes.  NOPE!  He waited about 30 minutes and then he moved in for the kill.  Hands all over me, before I knew it we were kissing and his hand found it’s way down my shirt.  So I politely moved his hand away and let him kiss me once more before I said goodbye.  Oh and by the way – sloppy, weird kisser.  I’m not even sure what happened was kissing.  It was pretty awkward.

Long story short, I’m pretty sure this cougar has learned a valuable lesson.

 

Never, ever fall in love. It’s pretty dumb.

I just spent the last year alone.  Exactly a year ago today, I met a tinder match in person.  He was my ideal, he was so clever and quippy and had a great wit.  He lived far enough away that the, “absence makes the heart grow fonder” scenario was there and he was self-sufficient.  Best of all, he has the sweetest dog and I think I fell in love with her before I fell in love with him.  Yup, I fell in love.  Something I had never done before.  I became an entirely different person.  I look back and I still don’t recognize myself.

In the beginning and in fact on this very day, he told me that he had some emotional/relationship issues.  As we progressed, I was falling deeper.  He never tried to have sex with me – I attributed that to him being a gentleman – and he was sweet and kind.  The funny thing is – he’s nowhere near the usual type of man I am attracted to.  Which made it all the more appealing to me.  I have matured in my taste in men.  But as the weeks turned into months, he still never tried to have sex with me and in fact, he kind of stopped kissing me, well with his mouth open.  I tried.  I all of a sudden became the aggressor.

Why wouldn’t he try anything?  He’s not gay.  Am I repulsive?  Maybe he’s not attracted to me?  He would never really open up to me why except that he has past issues.  He told me he was diagnosed with something called, “parentification”.  I did my homework and read everything I could on his diagnosis.  I even reached out to some experts via email/Facebook to help me understand what I could do to be supportive and not make him uncomfortable.  I took any advice they would provide me and I tried my best to be what he needed me to be.  FYI: This is completely out of character for me.  I never get too close and when I do I always back off but this man had me.

Sadly, around February of this year it started to fall apart.  I guess I was too needy or he just allowed his condition to rule his life.  I don’t really know as it’s all still a haze.  Any friend I spoke to told me to run and not look back but I had invested too much emotionally and wanted to make this work.  In the last few months it’s been more of a friendship although he’s not really a good friend.  He never asks me about my personal life, never makes an effort to come see me – I always go to him – and occasionally sends signs that there is more than friendship which sends me right back to being a lovesick boob.

I have been dating the last few months and recently met a man that is everything that I want.  He’s super hot, 6’2″, loves so many things that I love, has the same sense of humor as I do, is a gentleman and wants to have sex with me, lives far enough away that we get to miss each other, is an amazing chef (it’s his profession) and last but not least, has a 6 year old son.  Oh wait, I meant to put that on the negative list.  I like kids, I had 3 and have a grandson.  I just would prefer to meet a man that is where I am in life.  Also, my therapist (yes, I have sought therapy) wants me to never speak to my tinder fella and move on.  I’m trying however I don’t know how to fall out of love.

So last night I was drinking in AC and all of these stupid feelings came to the surface.  I texted tinder fella and told him to fuck off.  I know, I’m a child.  Today he texted me and told me in so many words that he’s glad he went with his gut and decided I wasn’t the one for him (heart sunk).  I fucking hate Facebook sometimes.  There’s this thing called nearby friends and I turned mine on so I could see where he was (because I am a dumb ass and apparently like to put myself through pain).  He was in my neck of the woods and probably on a date because he dates a lot.  That’s what prompted my fuck you text.  Today he told me off and I don’t think we will ever see each other again.

I know this is supposed to be a travel blog.  I think I’m going to change that.  I haven’t traveled much in the last year and well, yeah.

Oh hey there, Summer in OCNJ

To celebrate the Summer Solstice aka the first day of summer, I took the hour + twenty minute drive from Philly to #OCNJ which is also known as Ocean City, New Jersey.  Growing up, this was the go to spot when I went down the shore with family.  Someone in the family always had a house in Ocean City so we always had a free place to stay.

I haven’t been to OC in a very long time as I have been spending beach time in Mexico, the DR and Florida.  Oh, and Atlantic City, NJ.  I don’t know why I haven’t been back in so long, I loved it so much and when I was there on Saturday, I had that warm, fuzzy nostalgic feeling.  The beach was packed however we found a spot.  It was cloudy so no suntan to be had although I took my daughter and grandson and he absolutely loved the waves.  That alone makes me want to go back immediately.

One tradition that I wanted to share with them was eating pizza at Manco & Manco’s.  Truly the finest slice of pizza deliciousness that you find in Ocean City.  Do yourself a favor, go to OC and grab a slice, no two slices of Manco & Manco’s pizza.

Oh and dolphin sightings galore!  Because we all know that right now there is a great white shark swimming up and down the Atlantic Ocean and very close to New Jersey currently, the dolphin sighting was scary at first.  Alas, they were just sweet, little dolphins.

 

Pizza Heaven

Concrete Jungle Where Dreams Are Made Of

Yesterday I had the pleasure of hanging out at a video shoot in Brooklyn for up and coming rapper, Scottie French. Traveling to Brooklyn from Philly was easy and shorter than you would think – just over 2 hours. The tolls weren’t bad until I had to pay $14 to enter New York via the Verrazno Bridge. WTF?!
As I drive into Brooklyn, there was so much congestion and all we could hear was horns blowing. I’m pretty sure there was something going on although I never found out exactly what. The shoot was on Flatbush and finding parking was tough. It took us close to 30 minutes of driving around before we found a spot 2 blocks from where we were going to meet the reps from the record label.
I know that all sounds negative, but it was a great day. New York is fascinating and diverse and the video shoot was fun. So here’s the skinny on why I was able to be there. My daughter was hired by a Brooklyn-based record label, Hawthplay Records, as a model/dancer and her first job was this shoot. Hawthplay Records is an independent label that gives opportunities to artists that major record labels turn away because they have “no experience”.  Mind you, your sound must be on point, they don’t rep just anybody. I am excited to watch them grow and be a part of it through my daughter.
So we started out in Brooklyn and ended up in Manhattan at the South Street Seaport which was full of people and pretty damn awesome. I probably took about 20 pictures here, most of which were either selfies or snapchats.
At the end of the day, I grabbed a taco from Cemita’s and sat at a picnic table – communal-style with fellow visitors and New Yorkers.

 

Dream Dinner Destination

Maybe it’s cliché to say my dream dinner destination is in Italy.  I mean, who wouldn’t consider that a dream so yeah, I guess it’s cliché.  I don’t really care because Italy moves me.  The language, the culture, the people, the scenery and most importantly – the food.  I remember watching Eat, Pray, Love and fast forwarding (I’m hanging on to my VHS language) to when she arrives in Italy just so I could watch the scenes with the food.  Or in Under the Tuscan Sun when Diane Lane’s character makes dinner for men working in her villa.  Food moves me and so dinner in Italy would for sure be a dream.

Since I am second generation Italian, I know a very small amount of the Italian language.  Definitely got those curse words down, colors, numbers, greetings – ciao. sono Rachael piacere di conoscerti and a few others I keep in my pocket.  I am trying to learn Italian so that when I finally do make it, I can speak to family that still lives there.  Until then, I would probably find it difficult to read a menu, order my food, grocery shop and prepare my own food.  I would need a translator for sure.  I’m sure there are plenty of apps out there as well as websites that already use translation software although I wouldn’t know where to begin.  I know, I know, you’re all thinking, “Why don’t you just use Google Translate?”  Well, I would although I find it difficult to use unless I copy and paste everything into it.  Wouldn’t it be much easier to have a website that will translate it for me?

For instance, my cousin is from Bucchianico and writes a blog in Italian.  If I want to read it, I have to copy and paste into Google Translate.  Am I behind the times with my antiquated ways in regards to translation?  I will have to look a little further and until then keep practicing my Italian.  So back to that dream dinner.  I was thinking that I would take my bf and rent a villa (maybe, no, exactly this one) and have a dinner on the balcony over looking the Adriatic.  The moonlight dancing along the sea would be the ideal backdrop in my dream.  Dinner would start with fresh bread, olive oil and fresh Parmigiano-Reggiano & Pecorino grated over top.  Whatever is fresh caught from the sea would be sauteed and  on my plate with a beautiful Cerasuolo rosé wine to accompany it.

Salute!

Try the World

Hey there.

So while I was reading my December 2014 issue of Travel + Leisure, I came across a little blurb that talked about a really awesome subscription that I definitely want however can’t afford 😦

Have you ever heard of birchbox (LOVE IT)?  Well it’s not that although it’s kind of the same idea except it’s food.  Food from around the world!  Try the World will send out a box every other month full of goodies from that month’s specific city.  This month it’s Venice.  Every box claims to have full-sized products that are “curated by celebrity chefs with local expertise”.  The cost of the box is $39 and it includes FREE shipping & handling as well as the ability to cancel at any time.  That sounds like a win/win to me.

You should go right now and order this box and then tell me all about it.

I should mention that in this blurb there was another box that intrigued me called A Box From.  They are also offering FREE international shipping and the cost of their boxes vary in price and all prices on the site are in Euro.

 

4 + months

Damn!  It’s been over 4 months since my last post.  My apologies.  I have no excuse.  Well, maybe a few.  You see there was this awesome trip to Mexico in July and then when I got back my position at work changed (for the better although busy) and finally there was my trip to Ireland.  I’m back though.  In between all of that I began seeing a guy that was mush – you don’t want to hear sob stories.  Now I’m seeing another guy that I really, really like.  Enough of the personal shit though.  Let’s talk about Mexico!

Cancun is awesome!  Why do people think terrible things about Mexico?  Cancun is the tops!  Beautiful, brilliant blue water, white sandy beaches and fun, fun, fun.  So my friend and I stayed at Secrets the Vine which if you don’t know is an adults only resort.  Settle down, I know some people think pervy when they hear adults only – it’s not like that.  It just means no kids.  If you’re thinking about a resort in Cancun where the adults only label means a little more than no kids, try Temptation.  So yeah, Secrets the Vine…

Secrets the Vine lobby

Secrets the Vine lobby

The staff are friendly, welcoming and eager to please.  The food is superb and the beach, I’m not a pro photog so forgive the injustice however what picture could truly do it justice.  Just go, damnit.

Secrets the Vine has seven dining options which are all great choices and guess what??  No reservations!  That’s right, you just mosey on up to the restaurant of your choice and you get yourself a table.  You can have two dinners (if you’re a Hobbit)!  I will say the buffet is pretty awesome as well.  And look at the pants the servers wear…

My bf should have to wear these

My bf should have to wear these

There’s a lot to do in Cancun besides trolling the restaurants, ogling the waiters and their pants.  Like Mercado 28 aka Market 28.  For a mere $1, you can take the crazy bus to the Market but not really.  You see, the driver will drop you off a few blocks away so you can walk past, “Market 28” that is not really the real deal.  So don’t be fooled.  We were alerted to this by the fella that worked at the Hard Rock (next to Secrets).  When we finally arrived at Market 28 (escorted by a local who pushed us into a jewelry store), we were hassled by every single stall we passed by.  My God in heaven it was exhausting.  Finally when all hope of a fun day seemed lost, we saw these guys..

IMG_0403

If you are into that kind of shopping, you know, the bothersome kind, then by all means – have at it.  Not for me.  I prefer the occasional vendor that walks along the beach selling handmade necklaces and bowls.  So back to Secrets for some sunning and drinking.  Why the hell did I leave the booze??!!

Seriously, if you want to love life and have an unforgettable vacation in an exotic location – GET YOUR ASS TO CANCUN!

Look how happy Cancun made me..

IMG_0141

 

 

going back to Mexico

I always said I would never go to Mexico and here I am working on my second trip.

As you may know, I work in travel and sometimes the discounts are so phenomenal, you just can’t pass it up.  To me, Mexico is where my family is from – Zaragoza, Coahuila to be exact – and also where The Love Boat stopped.  I grew up with my Mexican grandpop trying to teach me Spanish and always sticking me on the phone with relatives I couldn’t understand.  I really never wanted to go.  In recent years there has been so much violence near the borders and yes, even in Acapulco – where The Love Boat stopped!

I knew last week that I was approved for seats on the airplane.  I sent my request just two days before I found out and I didn’t expect to hear back so soon however today I found out that I got my first choice in my hotel request!  So I am back to Mexico in July and I will be staying at Secrets the Vine.  Secrets is a brand of all-inclusive resorts that boasts, “Unlimited Luxury”.  I have only visited Secrets in Cancun and Punta Cana during site inspections and now I will have the opportunity to stay in one.

When I was there last year for a site inspection I took advantage of the great photo op…

On the balcony of an ocean view room

On the balcony of an ocean view room

Laguna Nichupte on the left and the Caribbean Sea on the right

Laguna Nichupte on the left and the Caribbean Sea on the right